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User:Avenger
The very same![1]
Born into the Court of the Russian Czar in 1905, I escaped St. Petersburg during the revolution and fled to the middle east, where I was captured by Ottoman janissaries and sold to a Mesopotamian male harem where I became known as Al-Avenger The Deepest Throat of Baghdad. From there, I made my daring escape to British India by secretly hiding myself in an Eastern-bound Elephant's ass.
It was in British India where I learned the secrets of the yogis: levitation, transmutation, autofellatio and the power to make a smashing good chicken curry. From there, I acquired the services of a bawdy team of Turkish sailors and endeavored to become a privateer in the unofficial service of His Majesty the King. Late one steamy August night in June, my confederates and I shanghaied a French fishing trawler by performing some rather talented oral sex on her entire crew. I'm not exactly sure how that helped us to steal the ship, but there you have it.
Re-christening the ship "HMS Aristocrat", we set sail for the Java Sea with the intention of ambushing the perfidious Dutch in the midst of their filthy Empire building while simultaneously claiming the Dutch East Indies for the Crown. We arrived in the Java sea just in time for my 13th birthday...
To be continued...
