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Mathowie the man the myth

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Matthew Haughey (pronounced "Howee") is known as a fearless leader among mefites.

He has admitted under pressure that he has had to purchase [1] specialty lenses for his glasses to protect the world at large from the devastating power of his one perfect eye (known as Eye Prime).

Mathowie is currently being stalked by over 65,000 internet users who paid $5 each for the privilege.

Mathowie's flames are so powerful that the entire userbase for the first iteration of MeFi committed suicide after he rebuked them. After that he swore never to flame again.

Other neat facts about Matt:

He once wrestled an angry bull. And won. He can accurately fire a rubber-band over 50 feet. He daringly jumped 15 cars on a Honda moped. He is capable of communicating with cats. He once 'surfed' a motorcycle by standing on it's seat and gas-tank. He can heal houseplants with his mind. He is an accomplished time-traveler. He can accurately predict the flight path of a garden bumble-bee. He has saved the planet. Twice. He has greater than Top Secret clearance. But he doesn't know it. He smells pleasantly of cheese. He can construct a particle accelerator using nothing more than a colander, a pocket watch, 20 feet of garden hose, and a turkey. He is the member of a secret and ancient brotherhood who protect dark knowledge. He has an iPhone. A 3rd generation iPhone. His only weakness is kindness. And bullets. He can divide by zero. [Disclosure: None of these are true. At least, none that I know of.]